The Evil of Tanning Beds
by DNAlchemist77
Summary: No way in hell was he going to allow one of those death contraptions anywhere near him. It was obvious the only reason Light wanted one was to torture L, of that L was sure.


It was without a doubt the most ridiculous request L had ever heard. This had to be some kind of a joke, the serious look on the younger males face just added to the hilarity of the situation. There was no way he was being serious. That was the kind of request he expected from the annoying blond model upstairs, not from someone with Light's intellect. L was actually having a hard time keeping himself from laughing.

"Light-kun cannot possibly be serious." L stated having a difficult time keeping his voice steady.

"Actually Ryuzaki I am."

L couldn't take it anymore he burst out laughing. Light didn't appreciate the outburst at all so to shut the detective up he balled up his fist and punched him in the face. Now Light normally wasn't the type for violence but something about L always got to him. He always lost his composure around the older male and it irked him.

"I believe we've had this conversation before Light-kun, an eye for an eye." L replied aiming a kick at his head.

Light easily dodged the kick already use to the others moves. L predicted this and countered sending the younger man to the floor. Not being one to go down so easy Light quickly caught himself before aiming another punch L's way. Just as another pointless fight was about to break out between the two Watari stepped in. "That's enough!"

They glared hatefully at each other but otherwise stopped their attacks. Neither was keen on pissing off Watari. The guy may be old but both knew he was not one to be messed with. It just wasn't something you do if you wanted to keep your life.

"Look I just want a tanning bed. Why are you being so difficult about it?" Light asks pouting.

Taken aback by the sheer cuteness of the pout L was tempted to give into the boy's demand. That is until he remembered what the demand was. No way in hell was he going to allow one of those death contraptions anywhere near him. It was obvious the only reason Light wanted one was to torture L, of that L was sure. Light was too smart to actually want one of those things for himself.

"Because I will not have one of those torture devices anywhere near my person."

"Seriously? That's ridiculous Ryuzaki. Besides look at my skin, it's almost as ghastly pale as yours. Now you might enjoy looking like a ghost but I sure don't. And since you won't allow me outside where I can get sun it leaves me with only one option, a tanning bed."

"That is not an option. If you so wish however I have no problem getting you one of those spray tans." L says magically pulling a lollipop from his pocket.

"No way! Those sprays turn your skin orange!" He shrieks in horror.

"But they don't kill you." L points out wagging the candy at Light. Light snatched the lollipop from the detective and threw it across the room.

L frowned as he watched the lollipop smash against the wall. "Harming innocent candy, you really have no soul."

Sensing another attack coming on Watari quickly cut in, "Do you have a specific model in mind?"

Light smiled brightly at the old man, nodding his head enthusiastically. He picked up a magazine from the desk beside him and handed it to Watari pointing at a circled picture. "That one."

"Very well, it should be here in a couple of days."

"Thank you so much!"

L could do nothing but glare at his caretaker with betrayal.

* * *

Three days later L was stuck in one of the smaller rooms of the Task Force building waiting as Light set up his new toy. He was still very much against the use of the thing but apparently no one cared about his thoughts. So he just sat quietly on the little stool placed there for him glaring. It wasn't until Light began ridding himself of his clothing that L spoke.

"What are you doing?"

Light stopped unbuttoning his pants to stare at L in disbelief, "You can't tan with clothes on."

"But won't your um," he looked between Light's legs then back at his face, "burn?"

"I'm not going in completely naked!"

"Oh."

An awkward silence filled the room after that. Both males avoided eye contact as they did their own thing. Light went back to stripping and L did his best not to openly gawk at the brunet Adonis. As much as the insomniac hated the other male he couldn't deny the attraction he felt towards him.

"I need you to uncuff me now." Light says breaking the silence.

L was going to reply with a snippy comment but lost his train of thought when he saw Light sanding there in nothing but a very small red speedo. Instead he laughed. Nothing he'd ever seen was more comical then seeing Light the way he was now. He had an annoyed look on his face with one hand rested against his hip, the other held out in front of L. In short he looked like a gay, pissed off lifeguard.

"I don't see what's so funny." Light seethes.

"Keep that pose and find a mirror, you'll see."

"Whatever just get this stupid cuff off me." Light sighs not in the mood to fight. He just wanted to get the handcuff off his wrist and relax in the tanning bed. To finally get some color back to his skin after weeks locked in a cell.

L complied with the request reluctantly. He watched as Light rubbed his wrist to get some feeling back with mild amusement. Knowing he was going to have no further entertainment while Light was tanning he decided to stir things up while he could.

"I wonder if Amane-san would be interested in tanning as well?" he musing aloud to himself hoping Light would take the bait.

"Why?"

Inside L smiled, "Because I would very much like to see her in a speedo as well."

"Why would you," he paused realizing what L was hinting at, "You really are a pervert Ryuzaki."

L shrugged. He's been called worse. Light rolled his eyes again and just got in the bed. He let out a content sigh as he soaked up the UV rays. However his peace was short-lived. L quickly got bored and decided to make it a miserable experience for Light so he'd never be stuck in such a predicament again.

"You're going to get cancer!"

When he got no response back he tried again, "Did you know tanning beds are responsible for more deaths than Kira?"

"So why are you wasting your time trying to catch Kira when you could be out destroying all the evil tanning beds in the world." Light replies sarcastically.

L pretended to think about it for a minute letting out and loud and long "hmm" as he did. "Maybe I should. I can start with this one and kill two birds with one stone."

"Fuck you."

"Though I'm sure many would be pleased by that offer, I'll have to decline. I'm not into murders."

"So you're into guys?" Light asks catching the mistake.

"No."

"But you just said you're not into murders, which I am not by the way, you said nothing about me being a guy therefore I must assume that you like men." He replies smart-alecky.

"Light-kun should know better than to make assumptions."

"Ryuzaki should practice what he preaches."

"I've earned the right not to have to." L counters swiftly.

"Sure, whatever you say Ryuzaki."

"Are you almost done?"

"Are you seriously asking me that? It hasn't even been five minutes!" Light shrieks.

"Can you hurry it up then? I have work that needs to be done and I don't get Wi-Fi in this part of the building." He asks.

"Well maybe if you would just shut up and let me tan in peace the time will go by faster."

"Doubtful, if I do that than I will have nothing to do."

"You're smart, think of something." Light tells him.

It grew silent after that. Thinking that he was finally going to get the peace he longed for Light relaxed his body and drifted into a pleasant daydream. Of course he should have known that peace was impossible with Ryuzaki around. Suddenly a gush of cold wind hit him followed by a squeak. Opening his eyes to investigate Light found Ryuzaki standing over him with a creepy smile plastered to his face.

"What are you doing?"

His question went unanswered as L climbed on top of him. Reaching over Light, lips inches apart, L grabbed for the plug in cord and pulled it shutting down the offensive machine. Staring intensely in Light's eyes as he did so.

"Seriously Ryuzaki, what are you doing?" Light asks nervously.

"What Light-kun told me to do. I'm entertaining myself." L replies before lowering himself down to place kisses on the younger male's neck.

Light's eyes widen in surprise, that was not something he ever expected to happen. It would have been more likely for him to pull a knife out of his pocket and murder him then to kiss him! He began struggling trying to find a way to escape the assault but that only excited L more.

"Ryuzaki stop!" Light demands weakly as L descends lower.

He stopped and sat up giving Light a false sense of security. When Light tried to push himself up L slammed him back down before leaning over him. "No." he whispered before crushing his lips against Light's unsuspecting ones.

The more he tried to push the older male off the more forceful he became. Realizing with dread that he was fighting a losing battle Light gave up and went limp. Small tears making their way to the corner of his eyes as L shoved his tongue inside his mouth. The intruder tried to rouse the unresponsive muscle but was unsuccessful. Not easily discouraged L pulled away and once again trailed kisses down Light's neck. As he did this he moved his hand over to cup the younger male's package finally getting the reaction he's been looking for when Light let out a soft groan.

Hearing the sound pass his lips Light knew he was in trouble but he couldn't help it. It had been so long since someone had touched him that way and it just felt so good. L's hand was surprisingly skillful causing Light to lose control as well as all reason. In the moment Light forgot that it was the hand of his enemy causing him such pleasure as well as another man. It didn't matter. But of course L had to snap him back into reality.

"Like that huh Light-kun?" he breathes seductively in his ear before lightly nipping his earlobe.

"I did until I remembered it was you."

L stopped what he was doing and sat up looking at Light sadly as he did so. "No need to be so mean Light-kun."

"That's rich coming from the guy attempting to rape me."

"Surprise!" he yells waving his arms around like an idiot.

Light stared at the detective in disbelief. "What the hell?"

"It's not rape if you yell surprise. So I yelled surprise." L explains with a childish smile.

"What kind of bullshit logic is that?"

"Dunno, I read it on the internet once."

"You seriously need mental help Ryuzaki." Light tells him.

"There is no genius without madness." He replies laying his head in the crook of Light's neck.

Unconsciously Light rests his chin a top L's head coming up with a response. "I suppose there's truth to that."

"Light-kun smells like oranges." L comments sniffing at Light's shoulder.

"That would be my tanning lotion."

L licked the spot where his nose has previously been then pushed up so that he was eye to eye with Light. "It doesn't taste like oranges though." He says seriously.

Light laughed at this, "It's not supposed to."

"That's false advertisement."

"No one asked you to lick me."

"But it smelt so enticing I had to." He replies in all seriousness. Light just shook his head, he was speechless. "Though it's not like oranges Light-kun does taste rather delicious, I wonder how **all** of him tastes."

Before Light could grasp the meaning of those words L had already begun to remove the only article of clothing Light had on, the speedo. "Wait Ryuzaki staaa ohhh."

* * *

Two hours both males returned to the investigation room satisfied. After L was done having his way with Light he let him tan in peace. Light was just happy to have color back in his skin and the sex was pretty good as well. He decided to ignore the fact that he had lost his virginity to another man and allowed himself to enjoy it instead.

"Huh have you been tanning this whole time Light?" his father asks concerned.

"What? No it took a while to get it set up and for Ryuzaki to sit there quietly."

"Oh alright but still Light that was a long time. You better pay more attention to that or you could hurt yourself."

"Don't be such a worry wart chief, Light's smart after all." Matsuda chimes in before Light could reply.

"Has any new evidence surfaced?" L asks putting an end to the pointless conversation that was sure to occur.

"Not yet." Aizawa replied flipping through some papers.

L nods and pretends to start working. In reality he relives the past few hours in his head again. Never in his life has he felt so fulfilled. And to add to his already wonderful day Light agreed to a round two later tonight. Maybe the tanning bed wasn't so evil after all.


End file.
